homealonetwolostinnewyork1992:

homealonetwolostinnewyork1992:

what is it about having anxiety that makes you so insane. like every time i go to my job where i work i expect someone to tell me to leave. like i walk in and im like well i bet im not supposed to be here. even though all signs point to me needing to be there

paperwork: you work here at this store

schedule: this is when you are going to be working 

my boss: see you later when youre working 

me, showing up to work: im not supposed to be here. this is so embarrassing. i dont even work here. is this the right store

frasier-crane-style:

beetledrink:

not to be insensitive but some of the salem witch trials were so funny bitches like “i saw her at the devils sacrament!!!” girl… what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament 👀

an-abundance-of-hannahs:

cadaverkeys:

“younger siblings are so entitled” “oldest siblings think they’re such martyrs” “middle children have the personality of cornbread” boys….boys….stop attacking each other….unionise

We need to attack the true enemy,, , only children

taintmotel:

This is honest to god the funniest thing I have ever seen in my entire life

firefox-official:

cool its may. that’s cool. it SHOULD be february but that’s cool.

riordanverse-dorphin:

how careful Kane Chronicles characters are when opening portals

Zia: has all the auspicious and inauspicious moments memorized. yes, she’s a ware that there are hundreds, what part of “she has them all memorized” did you not get? 

Carter: keeps a calendar in the Duat, knows the big ones. isn’t as die-hard as Zia but opening a portal at the wrong time can kill you.

Walt: one of the perks of having a god in his head is that Anubis will warn him if he’s about to blow himself up. he could learn himself but why bother?

Sadie: gives no shits. just starts chanting, if she dies it isn’t her problem anymore